How to know if people in your life are toxic

Life is too short not to love the people around you. It can take a long time for anyone to understand this.  The toxic people in your life usually are the ones causing havoc even if it is so small you just become annoyed. Toxic people include friends, co-workers and even family. These are the people who are holding you back in life. So how do can you really tell? Here are some tips to find out.

  1.   They can’t grasp the saying “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say it at all.”

Not once have you ever heard them say anything positive.  It comes to a point where it’s just depressing and it just brings you down.

All they mention is gossip of others and you can’t help but think of what they say behind your back.

Also if you mention any good news they’re the first to shut you down.

   2.   They are always the victim.

It’s always their needs before yours. If you have a problem and you want to talk to someone they are the ones who try to top it with their own issues or even make up ones to be the center of attention.

   3.    They don’t strive for their ambitions.

They constantly complain about being stuck where they are and never bother to do anything about it. You give the best advice and usually answer with “you’re right” but never go through with it.

These ideas and more can really help identify if someone is pulling you down. If you want to learn more Click Here.

I've now decided to take these aspects seriously and weed out those who have been a negative influence on my life. Once I've either ignored the negatively or just ended up getting rid of them all together I've been able to become more positive with my life and push myself to be better. 

When Will I Stop Procrastinating?

Never have I finished a project with days, hours and even minutes to spare. My weakness definitely would have to be procrastination. Maybe I enjoy the crippling anxiety that comes up when I realize I pushed back a project and forgot about a due date. Maybe it's the thrill and adrenaline writing the finishing sentences minutes before it's due.

 

The misconception is I'm lazy but as much as I love speeding endless hours scrolling through Tumblr, I think it's a little more than that.

 

I have a problem with taking on more then I can handle. I have two jobs and am in school full time. Yes I know I shouldn't complain but it’s been a little overbearing. With that in mind it’s caused me to master the art of forgetting about school, work, and my problems. There’s been days in which I have off that I would stay in bed constantly. I would know how much needs to get done but I get so overwhelmed and then begin to have the worst chest pains.

 

I’ve been doing it for years, even throughout my years at school. It’s caused me to let people down with work that needed to be done. With procrastinating I haven’t done my very best with putting in all my effort because I wait till the last minute.

So now before I go out in the world once again I decided this needs to end. I need to get it together and work to my full potential to get the best job done.

 

I'll use the these tactics to overcome my constant need to procrastinate.

 

 

 

Why I won't be watching 50 Shades of Grey

There's been a lot of talk lately surrounding the controversy of the 50 Shades of Grey Movie 

I have not read any of the books but one thing that caught my attention was this Tumblr post which was the the image of the poster above with quotes from the book. The quotes portrayed the character Christen Grey to come off as abusive both physical and emotional. I'm not exactly sure if these may have been out of context since I'm not the owner of those photos nor have I read the book, but if so I am still baffled at the fact that it still is even in the book. It's giving the world of BDSM a bad reputation and romanticizing abuse. If my views don't convince you maybe this will. 

Instead of buying tickets. Donate 

How is this relevant to what I've written?

Well I am someone who grew up in an abusive environment for most of my life, at home at a very young age as well as through school. With my past it's always been hard for me to trust men or anyone in general. I've ended relationships over nothing, sometimes solely on the fact that certain people's traits were parallel to those who tormented me. I would constantly have anxiety thinking I was never worthy of anyone.

Over the past year things have been easier. I am starting to trust people thanks to the wonderful support I've received. Dating has been easier but there is always days where I have my low moments. I'm focusing on myself by working on my self-esteem and overall self-love before I decide to be in a relationship again. 

I really need to stop saying sorry

I can't put into numbers regarding the amount of times in a day I apologize.

I walk into someone. "Sorry"

I try to help someone. "Sorry"

I bump into an inanimate object......"Sorry"

It's come to the point where people in my life have acknowledged it and become annoyed.  

This was the video that really made me realize what I was doing.

Although I don’t believe in the gender secluded aspect of the video, I found it really described me and what I always do in those certain situations.

I believe the real reason it's a reflexfor me at this point is that I try to find a way to avoid conflict and find peace with people. I find joy in knowing people are happy and content so I feel if I apologize for what I did then it’ll help them

What I think it’s done is give me an image as if I was weak and needing acceptance of everyone. I find people try to walk all over me. I definitely notice I can be passive at times which is a part of my constant apologizing.

I decided I needed to be taken seriously so I've now pledged to myself to only apologize when I need to.